Assalamualaikum.
Here's something that I don't understand.
I see teenagers nowadays, some who are way younger than me, throwing out the 'L' word to their loved ones like it's nothing. It's as if they're on a competition to see who can say 'I love you' the most in a span of one day. Maybe hours or minutes or even seconds! But that's for the more PDA-ish couples, I guess. The ones who take pictures together, write statuses/posts about each other on social medias with the annoying heart-eyes emoji as well as a butt load of colourful heart emojis and make my already sad my life even sadder. I sincerely hope this type of relationships will decrease in percentage as the years past, 'cause I'm freaking sick of seeing them on my Facebook homepage.
Harap kita kekal till Jannah . I love u . kiss emoji* *heart emoji x10*
-posted by a thirteen year old girl
Alhamdulillah, ada niat nak pergi ke Syurga.
Here me out, I'm in no position to judge someone's level of Iman, or give advice regarding this matter since I'm not the perfect 'muslimah', but I think if you really want to go to Jannah, you'd probably need to break up with your lovely pakwe ASAP.
Anyway, back to the topic--why is it so easy to say the word 'love'? And how can you be so sure that it is love? Granted, I've liked guys, but I'm pretty sure I've never fallen in love with one before. It just seems so... serious.
Google tells me that love, by definition, means 'an intense feeling of deep affection'. Now tell me, all you people, especially the young ones, do you really have intense feelings of deep affection towards your partners? Sekuat cinta ayah awak kepada mak awak, sekuat cinta saya kepada makanan, sekuat cinta Anthony kepada Xena (okay, maybe ni dah kira tahap obsessed gila gila.)? Kalau ya jawapan awak, maka benarlah, Encik Google kata awak sudah jatuh cinta.
...Or is it? Is it really love?
To me, love is much more than that.
Love means that you'll give it all for that one special person. Love means that you'll accept all of their weaknesses, dark sides, and flaws, and they'll do the same for you. Love means that waiting for a thousand year is nothing, as long as you'll get to be with that person in the end. Love means friendship; you're their best friend, and they're yours. Love means getting through the hardship together, facing problems together, and helping each other during tough situations.
Or at least that's what I think.
So I'm going to ask you again; what you feel for you partner right now, is it really, really love?
I don't know. I've never been in love before. If someday I do find the right one, and I'm one-hundred percent sure that it is love, I'll come back to this blog and rewrite everything. That's a promise. But for now, that's my definition of love.
Sorry for the over-usage of cheese. I don't know what's gotten into me. I need sleep.
Help.
Goodbye. See you next time, blog.
x
Aleesya
Tuesday, 11 August 2015
Tuesday, 28 July 2015
nonsensical babble: not sleeping (and ULBS BM)
Assalamualaikum.
As I am writing this post, it is currently 11.50 p.m.
Yes, another post written late at night. Seriously, I'm unhealthy and sleep deprived. I wonder if this is why I'm still ugly? Because I lack beauty sleep. Or, maybe puberty hasn't hit me yet. Not sure.
I've been neglecting this blog for the past month (or is it months? not even a clue) and I feel guilty. It's quite funny because the same thing happens to my Tumblr account, which I made just a few months ago because I was getting bored with my older one, as well. It is safe to say the last time I've logged into my Tumblr was in May, or maybe April? Whatever. It has been a very, very long time.
In all honesty, I truly do love writing on this blog. Perhaps it's because I feel comfortable, knowing that there won't be many people reading it, though I have a suspicion that someday one of my friends will find out about this. After all, I did put the blog's link on my twitter, so something like that will bound to happen anytime sooner. Unless they already did go to my blog, but kept it from me.
I will never know.
Tomorrow, I have a ULBS (ujian lisan berasaskan sekolah) for subject Bahasa Melayu, and I'm more than nervous. As a Malay individual, I should feel confident. I've been speaking Malay my entire life; it is my first language or mother language (mother tongue?) or native language or whatever you call it. Me, including three other girls who are all good friends of mine were told to form a group and do some sort of 'forum' in front of the class. Ya know, like a talk show or ceramah, something like that. We even had to choose one person to be our pengerusi majlis.
Sounds a bit beria, right? Well it is over the top. In fact, our class is (probably) the only one out of six classes that has to do this. We can't really go against our BM teacher, Cikgu Z, unless we want to fall into her worst student list, which is a big no-no. Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly fine with talking in front of class, but after I found out that we had to do this forum thingy, I couldn't think properly. I start to feel anxious.
Even if we work as a group, we get individual marks.
Therefore, I don't want to screw up.
I got full mark on my ULBS BM berseorangan that I did a few months ago, I really, really don't want to get low marks for this one. This group ULBS revolves around KOMSAS (puisi tradisional, prosa tradisional, cerpen, drama etc). Our group got 'Gurindam Dua Belas'. Is it bad if I say I don't even know what Gurindam really is? Like, is it similar to Sajak or Syair or what. God, if Cikgu Z finds out about this, she'll be disappointed in me for sure.
Oh look, it's now 12.24 a.m.
How time flies when you are having fun (am I, though? Ok nah, just kidding).
I've got to go, though. It's quite late, and if Dad sees me still awake in the middle of the night, he'll throw a fit. You don't want to see my Dad getting angry, that's for sure.
Goodnight, blog. See you next time.
x
Aleesya
As I am writing this post, it is currently 11.50 p.m.
Yes, another post written late at night. Seriously, I'm unhealthy and sleep deprived. I wonder if this is why I'm still ugly? Because I lack beauty sleep. Or, maybe puberty hasn't hit me yet. Not sure.
I've been neglecting this blog for the past month (or is it months? not even a clue) and I feel guilty. It's quite funny because the same thing happens to my Tumblr account, which I made just a few months ago because I was getting bored with my older one, as well. It is safe to say the last time I've logged into my Tumblr was in May, or maybe April? Whatever. It has been a very, very long time.
In all honesty, I truly do love writing on this blog. Perhaps it's because I feel comfortable, knowing that there won't be many people reading it, though I have a suspicion that someday one of my friends will find out about this. After all, I did put the blog's link on my twitter, so something like that will bound to happen anytime sooner. Unless they already did go to my blog, but kept it from me.
I will never know.
Tomorrow, I have a ULBS (ujian lisan berasaskan sekolah) for subject Bahasa Melayu, and I'm more than nervous. As a Malay individual, I should feel confident. I've been speaking Malay my entire life; it is my first language or mother language (mother tongue?) or native language or whatever you call it. Me, including three other girls who are all good friends of mine were told to form a group and do some sort of 'forum' in front of the class. Ya know, like a talk show or ceramah, something like that. We even had to choose one person to be our pengerusi majlis.
Sounds a bit beria, right? Well it is over the top. In fact, our class is (probably) the only one out of six classes that has to do this. We can't really go against our BM teacher, Cikgu Z, unless we want to fall into her worst student list, which is a big no-no. Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly fine with talking in front of class, but after I found out that we had to do this forum thingy, I couldn't think properly. I start to feel anxious.
Even if we work as a group, we get individual marks.
Therefore, I don't want to screw up.
I got full mark on my ULBS BM berseorangan that I did a few months ago, I really, really don't want to get low marks for this one. This group ULBS revolves around KOMSAS (puisi tradisional, prosa tradisional, cerpen, drama etc). Our group got 'Gurindam Dua Belas'. Is it bad if I say I don't even know what Gurindam really is? Like, is it similar to Sajak or Syair or what. God, if Cikgu Z finds out about this, she'll be disappointed in me for sure.
Oh look, it's now 12.24 a.m.
How time flies when you are having fun (am I, though? Ok nah, just kidding).
I've got to go, though. It's quite late, and if Dad sees me still awake in the middle of the night, he'll throw a fit. You don't want to see my Dad getting angry, that's for sure.
Goodnight, blog. See you next time.
x
Aleesya
Sunday, 21 June 2015
nonsensical babble: night owl
assalamualaikum.
it's currently 1:11 a.m in the morning.
you may wonder, why on earth are you up so late? and honestly, i am wondering the same thing. i have school tomorrow, well technically today, but i can't find myself to go to sleep. it's partially because i am busy studying for today's exams, and the other is because i slept so much the past few days that all the energy i've saved up helps me stay awake. this worries me as much as it worries my mother, who had given me the stink-eye when she saw me still not sleeping even though it was already near 12 a.m.
speaking of exams: i don't know what to do. i'm very, very unprepared. mentally, and physically. i've been procrastinating for weeks, and all i feel now is regret. i keep on thinking, you should've studied, you idiot (though in a harsher way with more cursing). really, i am still procrastinating as of now.
i should be studying. i have so little time left. i have to sleep. i have to iron my clothes.
yet, here i am, writing this blog post that no one will ever read besides myself. truly, i need to get myself together and stop this behavior once and for all.
sigh.
i just hope i won't fall asleep during exam tomorrow.
bye.
x
aleesya
it's currently 1:11 a.m in the morning.
you may wonder, why on earth are you up so late? and honestly, i am wondering the same thing. i have school tomorrow, well technically today, but i can't find myself to go to sleep. it's partially because i am busy studying for today's exams, and the other is because i slept so much the past few days that all the energy i've saved up helps me stay awake. this worries me as much as it worries my mother, who had given me the stink-eye when she saw me still not sleeping even though it was already near 12 a.m.
speaking of exams: i don't know what to do. i'm very, very unprepared. mentally, and physically. i've been procrastinating for weeks, and all i feel now is regret. i keep on thinking, you should've studied, you idiot (though in a harsher way with more cursing). really, i am still procrastinating as of now.
i should be studying. i have so little time left. i have to sleep. i have to iron my clothes.
yet, here i am, writing this blog post that no one will ever read besides myself. truly, i need to get myself together and stop this behavior once and for all.
sigh.
i just hope i won't fall asleep during exam tomorrow.
bye.
x
aleesya
p/s: on a brighter note, it's Ramadhan! yay!
i hope i'll do more good and less procrastinate this month
#seriously
Saturday, 6 June 2015
nonsensical babble: menggemukkan diri semasa cuti
assalamualaikum.
sejujurnya aku cakap; aku suka cuti.
and you must be thinking, siapa yang tak suka cuti? well, that's half true. setakat ni la kan, aku tak jumpa lagi spesis manusia yang rare lagi pelik yang tidak menyukai cuti. obviously spesis ni wujud tapi nak jumpa tu memang susah lah. i call these people:
if you are a student, be it from middle school, high school, and university/college, holidays are like a heavenly gift from the skies above. orang yang sudah bekerja is no exception as well. cikgu-cikgu aku semua nampak excited bila nak cuti, tapi aku rasa dorang sebenarnya lagi excited nak bagi kerja sekolah yang berlambak.
anyway, rakyat malaysia memang gemarkan cuti.
gilaaaa engkooo takkkk? setahun berapa banyak cuti dapat wooo--lagi-lagi orang melayu kan; orang cina punya cuti kita join sekali, orang india punya cuti pun kita cuti. memang BEST! POWER! SUPER AWESOME! TERLAJAK LARIS! (wait what)
so here i am, basically doing nothing, perched in front of my laptop nonstop 24/7. as i'm writing this post, i've basically wasted about a few hours or so, listening to various kpop songs (i'm weak for EXO, alright? please spare my life) and scrolling through my twitter feeds. ni belum lagi bukak tumblr, kalau tak, lagi lah banyak masa aku buang macam tu je.
truly, i am not the most productive person ever.
truly, i am the master of wasting time.
the fact that i have exams a week after cuti and yet i still haven't studied (or rather, hafal 'cause subjek agama) anything is very saddening. i bet some of my friends/classmates have already finished hafal-ing (that works, right?) semua subjek. screw them, why do they have to be so rajin? why can't they follow jejak langkah aku and get fat and not study?
the worst part about cuti is that i became a massive eater! (heh, baru ada kena mengena dengan title.)
granted, i eat a lot every day. however, waktu cuti ni macam aku telah diberi kebebasan untuk melantak ikut sesuka hati aku. dah la aku ni tak banyak bersenam, especially waktu cuti. mak aku pula recently pergi langkawi, so dia bawak balik a bag full of all kinds of chocolates! vochelle, pepero stick, hershey's kisses, even ferrero rocher! oh god.
aku boleh nampak encik diabetes melambai-lambai kat aku dengan senyuman lebar.
so, kesimpulannya:
makanan + tak bersenam = aku punya seluar jeans semakin ketat. muka semakin tembam. dagu bertambah satu lagi (triple chin dah aku rasa ni.)
another reason to cry.
sejujurnya aku cakap; aku suka cuti.
and you must be thinking, siapa yang tak suka cuti? well, that's half true. setakat ni la kan, aku tak jumpa lagi spesis manusia yang rare lagi pelik yang tidak menyukai cuti. obviously spesis ni wujud tapi nak jumpa tu memang susah lah. i call these people:
because they are so damn hard to find.
if you are a student, be it from middle school, high school, and university/college, holidays are like a heavenly gift from the skies above. orang yang sudah bekerja is no exception as well. cikgu-cikgu aku semua nampak excited bila nak cuti, tapi aku rasa dorang sebenarnya lagi excited nak bagi kerja sekolah yang berlambak.
"okay, selamat bercuti semua."
"terima kasih cikgu!"
"oh! sebelum cikgu terlupa, kamu semua kena buat kerja sekolah
kat buku latihan dari mukasurat bla bla bla..."
sayang cikgu.
(nak clarify yang wanita di dalam gambar itu bukan cikgu aku, tapi aku yakin (on the inside) she's as happy as that woman waktu dia bagi homework tu.)
gilaaaa engkooo takkkk? setahun berapa banyak cuti dapat wooo--lagi-lagi orang melayu kan; orang cina punya cuti kita join sekali, orang india punya cuti pun kita cuti. memang BEST! POWER! SUPER AWESOME! TERLAJAK LARIS! (wait what)
so here i am, basically doing nothing, perched in front of my laptop nonstop 24/7. as i'm writing this post, i've basically wasted about a few hours or so, listening to various kpop songs (i'm weak for EXO, alright? please spare my life) and scrolling through my twitter feeds. ni belum lagi bukak tumblr, kalau tak, lagi lah banyak masa aku buang macam tu je.
truly, i am not the most productive person ever.
truly, i am the master of wasting time.
the fact that i have exams a week after cuti and yet i still haven't studied (or rather, hafal 'cause subjek agama) anything is very saddening. i bet some of my friends/classmates have already finished hafal-ing (that works, right?) semua subjek. screw them, why do they have to be so rajin? why can't they follow jejak langkah aku and get fat and not study?
another thing i like to do is cry.
i cry for a lot of reasons--one of them is when i realize i haven't done anything all day.
liek if u crey evertime.
granted, i eat a lot every day. however, waktu cuti ni macam aku telah diberi kebebasan untuk melantak ikut sesuka hati aku. dah la aku ni tak banyak bersenam, especially waktu cuti. mak aku pula recently pergi langkawi, so dia bawak balik a bag full of all kinds of chocolates! vochelle, pepero stick, hershey's kisses, even ferrero rocher! oh god.
aku boleh nampak encik diabetes melambai-lambai kat aku dengan senyuman lebar.
so, kesimpulannya:
makanan + tak bersenam = aku punya seluar jeans semakin ketat. muka semakin tembam. dagu bertambah satu lagi (triple chin dah aku rasa ni.)
another reason to cry.
sebab itulah aku tekad bulan puasa nanti aku nak kuruskan badan. aku pun tekad supaya aku akan jadi lebih productive dan lebih rajin! doakan aku berjaya, okay!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha no, just kidding.
x
aleesya
Thursday, 4 June 2015
No one
No one asks me if I’m okay
No one asks me if I’m alright
No one asks me if I’m sad
And asks me if I’m mad
I
I’d pretend to be okay
I’d laugh as if I’m alright
I’d never let my face show when I’m mad
And I’d smile even though I’m sad
You
You think I’m okay
You never care if I’m alright
You’re the reason why I’m mad
And the one to make me sad
(Always).
A.S
nonsensical babble: tandas & pemalas
assalamualaikum.
so today i went to kuala lumpur (or like how the youngsters say, keyel gitu) because my parents had business-stuff to as well as picking up my sister sebab dia takde kelas for the weekend.
of course, we stopped at the gas station on the way home. it is part of the 'experience' and is actually kinda essential--you can fill up your car's gas tank, you can rest, you can eat, you can solat, and you can relieve yourself (you know what i'm talking about.)
anyway, we stopped at the gas station 'cause dad wanted to fill up the gas tank. my mother and my sister went out in search for snacks to eat in the car, and i went to the toilet. when i got there, however, i was put off by the looks of the whole place. for such a big gas station (i mean you have dunkin' donuts for heaven's sake), the toilet was dirty, disgusting and smelly. i mean, i get it, it's a toilet where people come to poop/pee (i'm being very direct here), but the least you can do is clean it regularly. like, once a week! if you're that lazy.
my sister said "ala biasa lah tu" but i've been to a lot of gas stations, some even smaller and less impressive-looking with fewer workers, and they managed to keep their toilets clean. i'm trying to be rational here; maybe the workers are too busy to take care of it. i hope so. if not, someone (or maybe a few) definitely needs to be fired immediately.
the other thing that pisses me off is when i saw a guy walking into the women's room.
because i'm a coward who only knows how to talk the talk and not walk the walk, i didn't do anything and just stayed inside my car while muttering mean words at the ignorant man.
i honestly don't understand why he'd do that. the sign clearly shows that it was, in fact, the women's room, and he had the nerve to just walk in like he owned the place. i was glad that there were no girls using the bathroom, or else it would've been a rather awkward situation. i was glad that i wasn't there when the man had walked in. i was so pissed off at the fact that there was the men's room just a few steps away! seriously. what the hell.
i know i was being a bit dramatic over it, but things like that piss me off the most.
again, i'm trying to think rationally. maybe he just doesn't have the time to go to the men's room? maybe he wanted to pee so badly he couldn't contain it anymore? perhaps, seeing how nobody was using the women's room, he quickly took the opportunity without any second thoughts?
maybe.
wow.
i can't believe i just wrote a long post about toilets.
mom would be proud.
x
aleesya
so today i went to kuala lumpur (or like how the youngsters say, keyel gitu) because my parents had business-stuff to as well as picking up my sister sebab dia takde kelas for the weekend.
of course, we stopped at the gas station on the way home. it is part of the 'experience' and is actually kinda essential--you can fill up your car's gas tank, you can rest, you can eat, you can solat, and you can relieve yourself (you know what i'm talking about.)
anyway, we stopped at the gas station 'cause dad wanted to fill up the gas tank. my mother and my sister went out in search for snacks to eat in the car, and i went to the toilet. when i got there, however, i was put off by the looks of the whole place. for such a big gas station (i mean you have dunkin' donuts for heaven's sake), the toilet was dirty, disgusting and smelly. i mean, i get it, it's a toilet where people come to poop/pee (i'm being very direct here), but the least you can do is clean it regularly. like, once a week! if you're that lazy.
my sister said "ala biasa lah tu" but i've been to a lot of gas stations, some even smaller and less impressive-looking with fewer workers, and they managed to keep their toilets clean. i'm trying to be rational here; maybe the workers are too busy to take care of it. i hope so. if not, someone (or maybe a few) definitely needs to be fired immediately.
this is the kind of toilet i like, although i can never afford one.
or, get the experience being in one.
the other thing that pisses me off is when i saw a guy walking into the women's room.
because i'm a coward who only knows how to talk the talk and not walk the walk, i didn't do anything and just stayed inside my car while muttering mean words at the ignorant man.
i honestly don't understand why he'd do that. the sign clearly shows that it was, in fact, the women's room, and he had the nerve to just walk in like he owned the place. i was glad that there were no girls using the bathroom, or else it would've been a rather awkward situation. i was glad that i wasn't there when the man had walked in. i was so pissed off at the fact that there was the men's room just a few steps away! seriously. what the hell.
in case you didn't know, this is the universal sign for women's room.
it's basically used everywhere . seriously.
i know i was being a bit dramatic over it, but things like that piss me off the most.
again, i'm trying to think rationally. maybe he just doesn't have the time to go to the men's room? maybe he wanted to pee so badly he couldn't contain it anymore? perhaps, seeing how nobody was using the women's room, he quickly took the opportunity without any second thoughts?
maybe.
wow.
i can't believe i just wrote a long post about toilets.
mom would be proud.
x
aleesya
p/s: waktu aku dalam tandas tadi
aku perasan ada orang conteng something kat pintu
dia tulis:
'nak puas? call saya:
xxx-xxx xxxx
batang besar'
ew.
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
back to square one
assalamualaikum.
ahem.
this is kind of awkward, isn't it?
spare me. i haven't blogged in months, therefore i'm still trying to adjust with--everything. i guess. a lot has happened; good things and as usual, bad things. i wanted someplace to vent out (or rather, write) these frustrations i have with life. that has led me to create this depressed looking blog. i'm not sure where this is going, but i hope i will make the most out of it and most importantly have fun while doing so. this is where i will post my writings, my thoughts and whatever the fuck i think is appropriate to write on a blog.
best of luck to that.
i will try to post something whenever i have the time.
x
aleesya
ahem.
this is kind of awkward, isn't it?
spare me. i haven't blogged in months, therefore i'm still trying to adjust with--everything. i guess. a lot has happened; good things and as usual, bad things. i wanted someplace to vent out (or rather, write) these frustrations i have with life. that has led me to create this depressed looking blog. i'm not sure where this is going, but i hope i will make the most out of it and most importantly have fun while doing so. this is where i will post my writings, my thoughts and whatever the fuck i think is appropriate to write on a blog.
best of luck to that.
i will try to post something whenever i have the time.
x
aleesya
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